“Skeletons,” Secrets Cause Strife

From cleaning out estates all these years, I have learned that many people have “skeletons” that need to be dealt with prior to their passing.

In the land of the forgotten (attics, boxes in the back of the closet, locked trunks, hidden in barns or sheds, etc), we find things I can’t even talk about without teary eyes.  I do my best to let go, or tuck these things away somewhere in a spare brain compartment, hoping not to think of them too often.

It is not unusual to find love letters, adoption papers for a child that never knew they were adopted, or evidence of an extramarital affair.  On occasion though, we find things like suicide notes, drug abuse issues, different levels of pornography … some so bizarre it challenges my understanding of humans.  These still leave a mark of sadness upon one’s soul.

We see the dark portals in people’s lives after they leave.  We will never have a clear understanding of why these people did what they did, made certain decisions, or why on earth they would ever leave those secrets behind to be found.  I think to myself how fortunate it was that my company was the one who found those items, instead of a family member who may be traumatized for the rest of their life.  It is my cross to carry … discretion and protection.

Uncovering these secrets casts a shadow which can change your feelings about the person who has died, not to mention seriously tarnishes their personal legacy.

Some things need to be told to the family

and some secrets need to go to the grave with the deceased loved one.

Remember: The dead cannot defend themselves or their actions.

It is difficult to write these things.  We must not only think about ourselves and what we desire, but we must think about those we leave behind and what they may find.

TIP OF THE WEEK:

Clean your home and clean your life! 

Leave a legacy, not strife!

©2016 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

 

Published in: on February 5, 2016 at 11:05 am  Comments (1)  
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The Gucci Purse

My holiday season was filled with the urge to purge.  I swept through the house like a cyclone, pulling things out to give away, sell, and discard.  My daughter didn’t know what to think and my husband kept asking, “Are you sure you want to get rid of that?”  If you feel like your home needs to be on a diet, you know exactly how I was feeling!

Today in our guest closet, I came across an authentic vintage Gucci purse my aunt purchased for my mother when she traveled to Rome about 45 years ago.  It was still in the original soft dust cover and is still like new.  It is burgundy in color and not really my style, but when mom died, I kept it.

Question #1 … “Why did I keep this?”

As I held it, inspecting its near “mint condition”, I wondered out loud why people hold on to things instead of actually using them.  I can hear echoes of mom’s voice saying something like, “Oh, that is a very expensive handbag and I will only wear it on very special occasions.”

That memory led me to question #2 … “Why wait for special occasions?”

Why not throw caution to the wind

and enjoy the heck out of what you have,

regardless of the season or the reason?

When mom was living, it was up on the top shelf of her closet collecting dust.  Funny how it ended up on my closet shelf collecting dust.  Why would I hold on to things if I get no use or enjoyment out of them?

This brought me to a decision that honestly needed to be made … Will I ever use it, and do I love it so much that I can’t let go?  NO and NO.

So the Gucci bag will be sold.  Someone I adored kept it and she never enjoyed it.  I never enjoyed it either.  So this purse has led a very dull life!

Someone SHOULD enjoy it, even if it isn’t me.

In almost every estate I work in, we find the drawers filled with linens and candles galore.  One day, my assistant said to me, as we were cleaning out a sideboard full of candles, “Wouldn’t it be a great idea if some of these people actually enjoyed using these things prior to their death?  YES, it would; otherwise, what’s the point?

I have come to the conclusion that I won’t miss a thing that left my home in the past two weeks.  My home has a new, light feel to it and I am enjoying that sensation.

Now if I would only shed a few pounds myself ….

©2016 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Published in: on January 8, 2016 at 11:01 am  Comments (2)  
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How to Stretch Your Hard-Earned Dollar

The advantages of shopping at estate sales and other great places

EstateSale

We’ve seen some interesting trends in the personal property market over the last few years.  Staggering statistics for the aging population means a tidal wave of residential contents, and a soft market has put a pinch on many wallets.  Couple this with millions downsizing, simplifying their lives, passing away, divorcing, moving out or the country, etc., and what you have is a healthy buyers market.

My parents used to tell me stories of when they were children during the Depression and what my grandparents did to stretch a buck.  Some of their stories were hard to believe, from grandpa making wine in the cellar and selling it for $1 a bottle, to my other grandfather buying thick sheets of leather to re-sole all the kids’ shoes because they could not afford new shoes.  Dad even mentioned that, as a small boy, he would run down to the butcher to get the bones before anyone else did, so grandma could make bread and bone broth with vegetables.

Regardless of economic times, we should learn an important lesson from the previous generation and be practical with our money so it goes farther for us, especially when we work so hard to earn it.

Estate sales, yard sales, auctions, and second-hand stores are all wonderful ways to stretch your hard-earned dollar.  Estate sales have fabulous items and the widest possible variety of anything you could want or need: furniture, decorative items, tools, jewelry, clothing, antiques, collectibles, etc. (and I do mean et cetera).

Many of these items are gently used or still new in the box.  The beauty of these sales is you never know what you might find; the thrill of the hunt is part of the excitement.

Negotiating your price is fun depending on the estate sale professional’s policies.  Please be fair-minded when negotiating.  After all, the family may very well need the financial assistance from the sale to help with mom’s illness or health care bills.

Here are some advantages for shopping at estate sales:

  • This is the ultimate in recycling
  • It helps a family just like yours
  • Designer/brand name items for much less than retail
  • Most furniture is made from hardwoods, and well made
  • Find out-of-print books for avid readers
  • Hard to find vintage items
  • Find unique items from around the world
  • Find older electronics and record albums
  • You may find a treasure/investment
  • A great place to find eclectic gifts
  • Something for everyone

Visit some estate sales this weekend and enjoy yourself!  You never know what you will find!

©2015 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Published in: on August 27, 2015 at 10:01 am  Leave a Comment  
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What Fair Market Value is NOT

As an appraiser, I have to understand the definition of Fair Market Value (FMV). As confusing as FMV can sometimes be for the professional, I can imagine how convoluted it must be for the lay person.

Under the United States Treasury regulation 1.170-1(c), Fair Market Value is defined as:

The price at which the property would change hands between a willing buyer and a willing seller, neither being under the compulsion to buy or compulsion to sell and both having reasonable knowledge of relevant facts.

That definition simplified everything, didn’t it? I think not.

For someone who does not understand that definition and all that it implies, it can be left up to their own imaginations to fill in the blanks and specifics, which can be a very bad thing. The person who does not understand will conjure up crazy, inflated “values” that are not values at all; they are merely asking prices they found online. This is NOT Fair Market Value.

If you are at an estate sale and you and the seller exchange $20 for an item, and neither of you are being forced into this exchange, that $20 is the FMV for that day and moment. If both you and the seller have all the basic facts, the item is a flat screen TV that works and you agree on a price, and you are not being forced to buy or sell, it was a mutually agreeable transaction. This is Fair Market Value.

Let’s talk about other things that are NOT Fair Market Value:

  • It is not what you paid for an item (most people pay high retail and not FMV).
  • It is not wishful thinking. True values are arrived at with careful research and methodology.
  • It is not family lore. We know the stories of how “valuable” mom always said an item was, but that is not fair market value. Many of our older moms may not understand how very different things are today, or why younger women have little interest in their prized possessions.
  • It is not outdated appraisal values that were probably written for insurance purposes or in a much healthier market.
  • It is not what you think it should be, nor the amount of money needed to pay bills.
  • It is not the asking price you see on a similar item on the internet or Ebay. Asking prices are just asking prices. We’re interested in what it actually SOLD FOR.
  • It is not based on sentimentality (how much you, or a loved one, cherished it).
  • It is not about how old it is or how long you’ve had it.  “Old” doesn’t necessarily mean it has value.

Everybody seems to have their own idea of fair market value, but very few I hear about are actually “fair.” At the end of the day, the market is what it is. All we can do is our very best to educate our clients, even if they don’t want to hear what we have to say.

Bottom line: An item is worth what someone will give you for it. Always enlist the help of a professional to guide you through, when you don’t have the answers.

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Dead Men Tell No Tales, But Their Possessions Do

One thing I have learned from cleaning out estates all these years is that many people have “skeletons” that need to be dealt with prior to their passing.

In the land of the forgotten (attics, boxes in the back of the closet, locked trunks, hidden in barns or sheds, etc), we find things I can’t even talk about because I will get very sad.  I do my best to let go, or tuck these things away somewhere in a spare brain compartment, hoping not to think of them too often.

It is not unusual to find love letters, adoption papers for a child that never knew they were adopted, or evidence of an extramarital affair.  On occasion though, we find things like suicide notes, drug abuse issues, different levels of pornography … some so bizarre it challenges my understanding of humans.  In once case very long ago, we even found pedophile material up in the attic after he died.  These things had to be from the 1940s or 1950s, but it still leaves a mark of sadness upon one’s soul.

We see the dark portals in people’s lives after they leave.  We will never have a clear understanding of why these people did what they did, made certain decisions, or why on earth they would ever leave those secrets behind to be found.  I think to myself how fortunate it was that my company was the one who found those items, instead of a family member who may be traumatized for the rest of their life.  It is my cross to carry … discretion and protection.

Uncovering these secrets casts a shadow which can change your feelings about the person who has died, not to mention seriously tarnishes their personal legacy.

Some things need to be told to the family

and some secrets need to go to the grave with the deceased loved one.

Remember: The dead cannot defend themselves or their actions.

It is difficult to write these things.  I am choosing to use these challenging illustrations for the greater good, in hopes that we can learn to better prepare for our own estates.  Think about the many different facets of an estate and how complex it can be.  We must not only think about ourselves and what we desire, but we must think about those we leave behind and what they may find.

TIP OF THE WEEK: Be forewarned. Clean your home and clean your life!  Take it from one who knows.

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Published in: on July 25, 2014 at 9:30 am  Comments (5)  
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What is “Weighted” Silver?

For many years, I have been appraising and advising on all kinds of residential contents, but one item has always eluded my imagination.  So, I thought I would share it with you in the form of a little “Show and Tell” now that I have a good example.

When people think of sterling silver, they think it has value.  They would be correct, but in some cases, the value is not necessarily as great as one might think.  Because the spot price of silver is currently down, many people are collecting scrap silver or scrapping family silver pieces for quick cash.  This is done by weight only, so families may think that mom’s candlesticks are very heavy and therefore must be worth a fortune!

What most people don’t realize is that many pieces that mom or grandma have are “weighted” sterling.  If you look at the base of the sterling candlesticks, footed bowls, or candelabra, you will see a base that is actually filled with cement, a composite of some sort.  The sterling silver over that base is actually foil thin.  If you turn over the piece, you will see it says “weighted silver.”

This piece was broken and found in the trash.

 

This is how I found the piece.

This is how I found the piece.

This is what the weight looks like with top layer of silver removed.

This is what the weight looks like with top layer of silver removed.

The bottom of the piece, which will often say "Weighted Silver" or in this case, "Reinforced with Cement"

The bottom of the piece, which will often say “Weighted Silver” or in this case, “Reinforced with Cement”

The end product ... Nothing but foil thin pieces of actual sterling silver

The end product … Nothing but foil thin pieces of actual sterling silver

I peeled the actual foil-thin silver off, so you could see the “weight” was not silver at all, but just a lump of resin/cement.  By the time you peel off the good silver, it weighs about a third of an ounce (if that), or approximately $6.60 in scrap silver, because the weight was removed from this broken base.  If the piece had the top portion, it would have been worth more.  I wanted to demonstrate that scrap silver is not that easy to accumulate; you have to know what can be scrapped and what can’t.

I hope you enjoyed this.  I never knew what the inside of one of these candlesticks actually looked like!

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

 

Published in: on May 23, 2014 at 9:30 am  Comments (4)  
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Know When to Hold ’em BEFORE You’ve Sold ’em

It is not unusual to meet with families sorting through an estate on their own and making serious mistakes.  Through no fault of their own, they are following their logic.  Since they don’t have the benefit of knowing the correct process and sequence of things, knowing the industry, collectibles, antiques, and the overall market, they soon find themselves “guessing” and that is a very bad thing to do.

Families, executors, and attorneys hire estate professionals so we can guide the family in knowing what has value, what doesn’t, what is sellable, what is not, options for selling, resources for selling, what to throw away, and what to keep.  This is what we Estate Consultants do to maximize proceeds and offer peace of mind to our clients, knowing they are making the right decisions.

Let me tell you a story about what just happened.

I love sterling silver rings.  Besides wearing them, they are a good investment as a precious metal.  I had been watching a large lot of rings on eBay and won it at a very fair price.  When the rings arrived, I looked at them and found a huge surprise.  One ring stood out; I knew instantly it was Imperial jade, and one of the largest pieces of Imperial jade I had ever seen.  Even a small slab of this jade is very expensive and sought after.  The setting was platinum and not sterling.  It was, at the very least, a $1,500 ring thrown in with $5 sterling rings.

Someone did not do their homework or did not take the time to do enough homework.

I attempted to contact the seller on eBay, but they never replied.

Moral to the story:

Haste makes waste.  It is worth hiring an expert to avoid hasty, and costly, mistakes.  No one can possibly know everything.  Bringing in professional help is an inexpensive insurance policy that you are making the right decisions for the distribution and dissolution of a loved one’s personal property.

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Things We Find Left Behind

Treasure is in the eye of the beholder.  What one person holds dear, another wants nothing to do with.  This is true between elderly parents and their middle-aged children, and even grandchildren.  The Depression Era generation doesn’t let go of much.  They take great pride in their possessions, especially the ladies with their ornate silver plate pieces, painted china, and etched crystal that they cherished in another time and place.

We find a ton of handwritten notes intended for those left behind.  We find them tucked inside vases, taped to the back of china or paintings, taped under sculptures and figurines.  We find loose notes in desk drawers.  Sometimes, we even find the notes laying right where the author left them before being struck with infirmity or death.

These notes are meant to guide the loved ones after their death and they often include a myriad of information: the history behind the item, the name of the person they are leaving it to, and my personal favorite … what they think it is worth.  Many of these notes have yellowed with age and some are barely decipherable.  To complicate the matter, this particular generation has a tendency to change their minds frequently, often creating multiple notes with mixed messages (probably depending on who ticked them off most recently – according to the children who read the notes).  It is also possible they may forget and start all over.

Here is an example of one I just found:

Dated 1977

“In my antique chest, with the items I intend to give to Susan and Ralph.  Top shelf – “Boy and two goats” Royal Copenhagen figurine and female Hummel. – $2,000 value

Second shelf – Royal Doulton Toby mugs and Hummel plates – $1,800 value

Third shelf – Carlsbad, Austria dish and crystal duck and cat – $300 value

To Robert and Sylvia – In the hutch – the smaller Hummel figurines, Venetian glass fish, crystal candle holder and small Royal Doulton figurine. – $1,500 value”

The list is quite extensive and goes on for a long time.  Here’s what we need to know from this story:

  1. These items were never distributed.
  2. They were never distributed because no one wanted them.
  3. They ended up in my hands to sell for the family and they will split the proceeds.

Do notes help?  I think sometimes they do, especially when they offer personal history and IF you want to keep these items.  Notes can also be removed or taken by unscrupulous heirs-to-be, and often we find more than one version of their notes, which claim different people can have the same item.

How do you handle that one?  You write a formal addendum or document to place with your Will or Trust, and make sure there is only one copy, not multiples.  Ask your attorney how to do this.  Better yet, consider giving it away or selling these items, if the children don’t want them, before any of this takes place.

From my experience, many times the intentions of these notes are never carried out.

You can have the best intentions but if they are not carried through, it’s a moot point.

If you want someone to have somethings special of yours, give it to them while you are still able to do so.

Somewhere along the line, we have to break the habit of waiting until someone is “gone” to deal with all of this.  Granted some people prefer it that way, but more and more, we are seeing a trend of people giving away or selling their items before they pass, to make it easier on their loved ones left behind.

Personally, I think the best notes we can leave behind are thoughts of joy and love, and not necessarily who gets what and how much items are worth.  My favorite “possession” from my late mother is a letter she sent me stating how proud she is of me and how I have chosen to serve people, and may God bless me abundantly for doing so.  It is a deeply personal note and one that I will always cherish.  I would gladly let go of the material stuff I inherited from her, for this one note and memories of happy times.  That’s the REAL inheritance!

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Things That Have No Place Anymore

In every home, in every estate of a deceased loved one, there are items we have to deal with that don’t seem to have a place with us anymore.  Perhaps they are no longer useful, or the sentiment has worn off.  Maybe there are so many items, there’s no way you can take them all!

After the family comes in and takes what they want, and some of the items have been sold or given away, there are always leftovers that can’t find a home.  Old photos and slides no one wants.  Brittle college diplomas and certificates from the early twentieth century.  Ancient textbooks on everything from WWI nursing to social etiquette to typewriter maintenance.  Old tax returns that need to be shredded and magazines and catalogs that weigh a ton.  Old TV parts, metal bits and pieces, broken appliances that are stuck up in the attic.  Prescription meds, record albums, small appliances, old computer printers and fax machines.

Optimally, these items should have been dealt with a long time ago so it doesn’t put the family in a crisis mode when the time comes.  Old appliances and computers can be recycled, as can the endless paper piles we find.  Metal can be scrapped; $100 is better than hauling it to the trash, right?  Prescription medications need to be dissolved in vinegar before flushed to neutralize the meds, or better yet, dissolve them and place them in a container with old coffee grounds or kitty litter.

These items should be disposed of properly, but it makes us feel guilty when we are throwing away things like old photos or slides.  After all, who has time to go through 10,000 slides from the 1950’s?

Let me share a quick story.  I used to be one who didn’t have time to go through all the family slides … until mom died.  I brought the slides home and at night while watching TV, I used a little light-up viewer I bought on Ebay to see which ones we wanted to keep.  I found a gold mine!  Photos of dad on his ship in the Navy, mom and dad’s engagement in 1953, early baby photos of me and my brother never seen before, photos of all the kids and cousins from long ago.  I had these selected slides made into prints and distributed them to family members.  The thank you letters, emails, and phone calls came pouring in.  It was like they each won a small lottery and were most appreciative to have these never-before-seen photos.  In my case, it was worth the effort.

If family does not claim these items, or there is no family left, sadly, these items either need to be discarded, donated, shredded.  And it’s okay to do that — you have permission to do that.  If no one else wants them or needs them, let them go with respect.

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Show Me the Money

Yesterday I went to a local, but well-known, antique show held once a month.  I was there at 9:00 am to get in the door early enough to try and seek out treasures, but the strange thing was that no one was waiting in line.  At first, I thought maybe I had the date wrong.  I could not figure out why the attendance was so low.

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Granted, it was still early, and as the day went on, more people came but I didn’t see anyone buying much.

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I was lucky enough to find a motivated, successful dealer.  I use the word “successful” because he gets it … you must negotiate to sell items, unless you have very rare pieces that will command top dollar.  That is much harder to find than people realize.  I must have spent a couple of hours with this one dealer who let me “pick” through his tubs of scrap silver, jewelry, etc., and he gave me very fair prices, so I will be a repeat customer.

Picture this:  Dealers who have been there year after year with the same items, refusing to come down in price, even though the heyday for these items has come and gone.  The heyday may come back again one day, but not anytime soon.  Sadly, these dealers are so set in their ways; they will probably perish before they come down in price.  They have the mentality that they must double or triple (or more) their money and they won’t settle for anything less.  They are the dealers sitting in their booths, reading a book or newspaper, and not engaging in any human contact.  I almost took a photo of one dealer fast asleep!

When these dealers pass away, their kids will sell these items by sending them to an auction or through a liquidator.  They are holding out for a certain amount or perceived value that will not come to fruition.  Can you imagine traveling, packing, and unpacking these items for years and not selling all that much?  To each his own, but that seems like a waste of time to me.  I would be more motivated to move product.

Compare these dealers to the first dealer who cut me great deals and was willing to negotiate … Who do you think will find favor with more buyers?  Who will get more business because they negotiate, and are pleasant and easy to work with?

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Still, there are other dealers that are catching on and placing signs on their tables: “$1.00 Table,” “$5.00 Table,” “Nothing over $30.00 but ask for best price” tables, I even saw “FREE STUFF” boxes and they were still full!  These dealers are beginning to see the light.  It’s as if I wanted to jump on top of the table to shout, “ATTENTION EVERYONE!  We are battling weary economic times!  Come on now … this stuff is not going to bring in what it did in 2005!”

If you want buyers to show you the money, you have to meet them halfway.  It has, without question, become a buyers market.  For those with extra cash to spend, you can rack up some great deals, even investment quality pieces.

ESTATE LADY TIP:  Silver and gold are beginning to inch up again.  Buy what you can afford now.  It could go up rapidly depending on current global situations.

©2013 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

Published in: on September 10, 2013 at 12:27 pm  Comments (3)  
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