Working as a mentor for many in the estate industry, I am often confronted by questions that are not always easy to answer. Just this week, a newcomer to the industry commented that she forgot an appointment and lost the job to a competitor, feeling she had failed at the task at hand. Another called to tell me he is failing miserably at his current occupation and has no passion for it any longer. Even my teenage daughter has struggled with English at school; anything having to do with words and putting them together makes her feel she has failed.
Failure is a terrible word. It can crush the spirit and make us feel small. It permanently mars our confidence level and will have great impact on how we view ourselves now and in the future. I always go back to my theory on planting trees, and the same goes for raising children. If you are going to plant a tree, plant it straight. If you plant it crooked, so the tree grows. I think we are not so very different from trees.
There is not one among us reading this now who has not felt the sting of failure or the tears that accompany that sting. But here’s the thing we need to remember.
Failure is not a bad thing. A “failed” relationship is a sign you need to go in a different direction. “Failing” to get a job, because you accidentally forgot your appointment, may have been a blessing in disguise. Failing at your current job just means you need to find something to do that you love and you will succeed at it.
Failure is a great teacher. It teaches us what we do not want, and this is vital for personal growth. I remember many years ago, I dated a man who was absolutely the wrong kind of guy for me. It ended miserably. He commented later on, when I ran into him, that I must be very disappointed or angry. I simply replied, “Actually, I thank you. You were a wonderful teacher. You taught me what I didn’t want.” He probably thought I was crazy, but I meant it. Because he taught me such a valuable lesson, I knew from that moment what I did want, and I went and found it.
If you feel you are failing at something, you need to take some time to reflect, redirect, and move forward. We need to go inside with our dark thoughts, face them head on, and turn them around to our benefit. If you keep doing the same thing over and over again, and remaining miserable, isn’t THAT the crazy part? I think it is normal to be fearful of change, but if you don’t do it – if you don’t take that risk – you’ll never know what you could have been.
©2014 The Estate Lady®
Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.
No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com