Literal Gold Diggers

When I think of a gold digger, my mind conjures up two images: 1) an 1800′s scruffy old man panning for gold, and 2) The Housewives of Beverly Hills, Atlanta, or wherever.  In the old days, a gold digger was someone who ransacked the graveyards stealing gold from the deceased.  In my world of estates, I see a different kind of gold digger; one that you won’t know exists until a loved one dies or takes seriously ill.

We see estates literally ransacked, like a bunch of coyotes rummaged through the place.  Boxes that once sat neatly in the attic and closets are ripped open and left in a jumbled mess, opened with contents spilling out.  Closets are left with clothes not on hangers, but in a huge heap on the floor!  Kitchen cupboards are askew and I guarantee the silver is long gone.  It would appear they left no stone unturned.  Were they looking for gold, silver, or cold, hard cash?

What is this incessant need for people to take stuff and help themselves?

I call them Mr. Pilfer and Miss Pickpocket.  They come in, often under cover of the darkness, and things disappear, never to be found again.  Is it greed, the entitlement mentality, or just a lack of care and consideration for the memory of the loved one?

I have come to the conclusion, after talking with dozens of executors, that one of the problems is there are too many keys floating around.  One of the first things I recommend is changing the locks to protect the contents until they are inventoried and/or valuated.  Another thorn in the executor’s paw is that sometimes they will tell the family and extended members that “Uncle Joe was known for his cash stashes, guns, gold coins, etc.”

This just happened in the estate I was working in.  The executor, thinking he was being honest and open with everyone, told the family there was cash in the house.  You know what happened next?  Ransack city.

Sometimes, the executor won’t even know there are valuables or cash, but other family members suspect there is money in the estate.  It is the executor’s responsibility to protect what is in the estate!  No one should go in until all is established and ready to be divided according to the will (if there is one).  Hopefully, the executor is honest!

Moral of the story:  Loose talk makes valuables walk.

© 2012 Julie Hall

Vulnerable Parents Can Protect Themselves

If you read last week’s blog, this title sounds like a contradiction to that article.  Read on, and you’ll understand how parents can protect themselves and prepare their belongings for distribution without exploitation.

In my work of helping seniors appraise the worth of their personal property, or liquidating it, I have seen examples of unsavory human behavior during the process.  This comes from family, friends, neighbors, or strangers. 

In dealing with a lifetime accumulation of stuff, seniors are often at a vulnerable place in their lives and daunted by the task.  That’s when predators appear, driven by insensitive greed and persuasive powers.  These unscrupulous mischief makers could be stopped in their tracks if only the senior had the knowledge of how much their personal property was worth.  

They should also proactively create a master list of what they perceive to be treasures – either sentimental or financial.  Parents should use professional appraisers to valuate their possessions now, adding the appraiser’s report to the master list, to protect from unscrupulous people, either inside the family or from outside.

When seniors have avoided making these choices by doing nothing for their estate planning and distribution, they are actually making a decision with dire consequences.  I always recommend that seniors distribute their treasures personally now, or in writing for distribution at death.  When the gift is personally made, however, they have the satisfaction of seeing the joy on the face of the recipient!

If a personal transaction is not done, then the next best thing is to write down who gets what on a master list.  This master list should be kept safely with the will.  Both documents will almost always minimize family disputes and exploitation.

Problems generate when the children or close relatives are burdened with dealing with the death of the senior, the pressure of dealing with the estate, and the overwhelming task of disposing of the personal property.  Seniors who recognize their own responsibility in this matter and make the decisions themselves are practicing the best defense against family quarrels or exploitation in any guise!

© 2012 Julie Hall

Protect Your Vulnerable Parents

Your parents, especially those who live alone, are vulnerable to scams and schemes for three reasons.  First, seniors tend to be trusting.  They also may be lonely and sometimes distant from those who can protect them.  Senior parents are also vulnerable because they worry about their financial security.  Finally, scammers know that many seniors have money and valuable possessions.

Even though approximately 50 percent of elderly Americans are victims of financial exploitation, only 10 to 15 percent of the abuses are reported.

The following may indicate that your parents are being victimized:

  * Sudden bank account changes, especially an unexplained withdrawal of large sums of money
  * Unfamiliar long-distance telephone numbers, especially from overseas, on their monthly bill
  * Significantly lower standard of living (change in eating and shopping habits; unable to afford things they once afforded)
  * Selling higher-end items such as furniture, antiques, and so on
  * Sudden disappearance of valuable possessions
  * Increase in commercial or junk mail
  * Sudden change in behavior; symptoms of depression or anxiety
  * Increased worries over money

Your parents protected you when you were young with advice and example.  Look both ways before crossing the street, never speak to strangers, and a host of other suggestions were meant to protect you.  Sadly, our parents reach a point where they need us to protect them!

Here are six suggestions to protect your parents from scams and schemes:

1. Ask or discuss with your parents who has durable power of attorney.

2. Register your parents’ telephone numbers with the National Do Not Call registry (www.donotcall.gov).

3. Discuss with them the list of common frauds listed above.  Ask them to contact you if they suspect anyone is trying to defraud them.

4. Ask your parents to contact you if anyone offers to buy any of their possessions.

5. Make sure a family member personally visits your parents on a weekly basis.  If this is a challenge and you have other siblings, take turns.

6. Reduce junk mail for a small fee by going to either of these web sites: www.stopthejunkmail.com and http://mailstopper.tonic.com.

The National Center for Elder Abuse is an excellent resource for information on financial and other forms of abuse against senior citizens.  It publishes reports and conducts research on this growing problem.  NCEA’s mission is to promote understanding, knowledge sharing, and action on elder abuse, neglect, and exploitation.  Its web site also offers links to other excellent resources and organizations also devoted to protecting senior citizens.  Their web site is www.ncea.aoa.gov.

Honor your parents by standing between them and anyone who sees them as an easy target.

© 2012 Julie Hall

Oh Brother, Sister! What Have You Done?

My experiences with client cases never cease to amaze me.  This one amazed even me!

An elderly client passes away with much of her  family estranged from her.  Interestingly enough, every time we went into the estate to conduct work, more and more was missing – mostly the “good stuff.”  (This is why you change the keys/locks after a loved one dies.)  So we reported it to the estate administrator and the keys were changed promptly.  That is fairly typical in most estates, and you might even have your own stories about family helping themselves.  What happened next is unthinkable!

As with all deaths, the executor or attorney needs to close all accounts, settle debt, etc.  Imagine the surprise when the credit card bills came rolling in AFTER the date the woman died!  Come to find out it was a family member who did it and is being (and should be) held financially responsible.

As we were cleaning out the estate, we discovered something that at first made no sense.  Where was her purse?  It was nowhere in sight.  Someone swiped her purse!  Probably the same one who took her credit card.

It’s hard to believe people like this exist out there.  How could someone stoop so low as to steal from a deceased sister?  This is another reason to plan your estate and distribute it prior to passing away, if you can.  No one should be taken advantage of, especially when someone is no longer here to protect themselves.

© 2011, The Estate Lady

The Accidental Expert

Never in a million years would I have thought I would turn out to be “The Estate Lady.”  I would have been perfectly content with a career dealing with animals, being a marine biologist, or something more carefree than dealing with heirs and heirlooms each and every day.  I used to think it was all by accident that I ended up where I am, writing books, speaking publicly, teaching at universities, etc.

Back in my twenties, and still working full-time for a large corporation, I met with Wilma, a lovely 103 year old woman, who needed assistance handling her soon-to-be-estate.  I was just breaking into the estate business handling personal property, but I soon discovered I had a special gift of listening to people, uncovering their needs, then finding a way to fulfill those needs.  It didn’t take me long to see the vision of what was coming and figure out that seniors – not to mention their children – needed me and my services.

Much to my horror, Wilma’s neighbors, upon hearing she was dying and had no heirs, decided to trample through her home in my absence and help themselves to her gorgeous possessions that had significant worth.  Long story, short: Wilma knew she had been taken advantage of by these unscrupulous people who only had greed in their hearts, and truly lacked love and compassion for this elderly woman facing a difficult transition.

The saddest part is this happens each day, every day, in each city, in each state, to thousands of people every 24 hours.

Wilma was the client who unknowingly gave me my company name, The Estate Lady, decades ago.  Was it really an accident I was there to witness such an account of low human behavior?  Or was I there because it was my destiny to learn from the situation and educate and advocate for those who need it during the daunting times of dissolving the family home?

The more I think about it, the more clearly I see that it was no accident!

© 2011 Julie Hall

Beware of “CASH PAID FOR” Ads

It feels like the personal property world has gone a little bonkers.  We have cable shows that demonstrate how to pick and make money off others who do not know the worth of their items, leaving the client feeling taken advantage of.  We have people in the industry who are purchasing from their own estates.  We have people who have lost their jobs and created overnight “estate liquidation specialist” companies, even though they have little experience. 

Seller, BEWARE and BE CAREFUL.  Use your scruples.  Research the company through the Better Business Bureau, local colleagues, and professional organizations.  Make sure you are dealing with someone who is recommended and is a trained professional.

I have long written and spoken on the importance of knowing what you have before you sell it, and that applies in today’s economy more than ever, when everyone is trying to make a buck off you! 

Please don’t misinterpret my words.  There are many estate experts out there who are truly outstanding at what they do, and ethical too!  Even those who purchase from their estates, many are very fair.  But like any other occupation, there are those who are not.  The good ones are getting harder to find and are worth their weight in gold.

Everywhere in local papers you see, “Cash paid for antiques, collectibles, military items, etc.”  Here’s my questions to you, the seller.  How do you know that buyer offering cash isn’t offering you pennies on the dollar?  How do you know that item he or she is offering $400 for is worth $20,000?  Are you too eager?  Are they sending red flags like “I’ll take it off your hands?” 

Stick to your guns until you know what you are dealing with first, but you too must be fair.  If an item appraises at $500, know you will not get that amount and it is unreasonable to expect that you would.  Only the exceptional items are selling well in this market.

The majority of true collectors are pretty reasonable and have a tendency to offer a fair amount for an item.  But someone who is in it to turn around and make money off the item(s) will often low-ball (not always, but they will try to increase their profit margin).

It is always worth getting a professional opinion, even if it costs a little bit — consider it a small insurance policy!

© 2011 Julie Hall

Your Parents Need Protection!

About a year ago, I gave my blog readers the following suggestions about protecting our parents and other elderly relatives.   Occasional news stories continue to sadden and disturb me, as another elderly, well-meaning person falls victim to a clever scam or scheme.  Please review these suggestions, and pass this information along to others, so together we can protect our elderly family and friends.

1. Ask or discuss with your parents who has durable power of attorney.

2. Register your parents’ telephone numbers with the National Do Not Call registry (www.donotcall.gov).

3. Discuss with them the list of common frauds (see The Boomer Burden, chapter 7).  Ask them to contact you if they suspect anyone is trying to defraud them.

4. Ask your parents to contact you if anyone offers to buy any of their possessions.

5. Make sure a family member personally visits your parents on a weekly basis.  If this is a challenge and you have other siblings, take turns.

6. Reduce junk mail for a small fee by going to either of these web sites: www.stopthejunkmail.com and http://mailstopper.tonic.com.

The National Center for Elder Abuse is an excellent resource for information on financial and other forms of abuse against senior citizens.  It publishes reports and conducts research on this growing problem.  NCEA’s mission is to promote understanding, knowledge sharing, and action on elder abuse, neglect, and exploitation.  Its web site also offers links to other excellent resources and organizations also devoted to protecting senior citizens.  Their web site is www.ncea.aoa.gov.

Honor your parents by standing between them and anyone who sees them as an easy target.

© 2010 Julie Hall

Protect Your Parents from Fraud

Your parents protected you when you were young with advice and example.  Look both ways before crossing the street, never speak to strangers, and a host of other suggestions were meant to protect you.  Sadly, our parents reach a point where they need us to protect them!

Here are six suggestions to protect your parents from scams and schemes:

1. Ask or discuss with your parents who has durable power of attorney.

2. Register your parents’ telephone numbers with the National Do Not Call registry (www.donotcall.gov).

3. Discuss with them the list of common frauds (see The Boomer Burden, chapter 7).  Ask them to contact you if they suspect anyone is trying to defraud them.

4. Ask your parents to contact you if anyone offers to buy any of their possessions.

5. Make sure a family member personally visits your parents on a weekly basis.  If this is a challenge and you have other siblings, take turns.

6. Reduce junk mail for a small fee by going to either of these web sites: www.stopthejunkmail.com and http://mailstopper.tonic.com.

The National Center for Elder Abuse is an excellent resource for information on financial and other forms of abuse against senior citizens.  It publishes reports and conducts research on this growing problem.  NCEA’s mission is to promote understanding, knowledge sharing, and action on elder abuse, neglect, and exploitation.  Its web site also offers links to other excellent resources and organizations also devoted to protecting senior citizens.  Their web site is www.ncea.aoa.gov.

Honor your parents by standing between them and anyone who sees them as an easy target.

© 2009 Julie Hall

Scams and Schemes

Your parents, especially those who live alone, are vulnerable to scams and schemes for three reasons.  First, seniors tend to be trusting.  They also may be lonely and sometimes distant from those who can protect them.  Senior parents are also vulnerable because they worry about their financial security.  Finally, scammers know that many seniors have money and valuable possessions.

Even though approximately 50 percent of elderly Americans are victims of financial exploitation, only 10 to 15 percent of the abuses are reported.

The following may indicate that your parents are being victimized:

  * Sudden bank account changes, especially an unexplained withdrawal of large sums of money
  * Unfamiliar long-distance telephone numbers, expecially from overseas, on their monthly bill
  * Significantly lower standard of living (change in eating and shopping habits; unable to afford things they once afforded)
  * Selling higher-end items such as furniture, antiques, and so on
  * Sudden disappearance of valuable possessions
  * Increase in commercial or junk mail
  * Sudden change in behavior; symptoms of depression or anxiety
  * Increased worries over money

Next week, I’ll share six ways to protect your parents from fraud.  If you need the information sooner, and for much more practical advice on helping your parents now, and dealing with their stuff after they are gone, please order my book, “The Boomer Burden”, available from Amazon.  http://www.amazon.com/Boomer-Burden-Dealing-Lifetime-Accumulation/

© 2009 Julie Hall

How did I get into this line of work?

You may be wondering how I got into this line of work.  It happened innocently enough and turned into a real eye-opener!

Receiving a phone call from someone in crisis is common at my office, but when the phone rang one afternoon, and it was a colleague claiming an emergency, I knew the matter was very urgent.

My colleague said one of his clients, who was preparing to move to a safe environment for those afflicted with Alzheimer’s, was at home alone when her neighbors — so-called friends — and a few antique dealers all decided to pay her a visit on the same afternoon.  (Word spreads like wildfire any time an older adult begins downsizing an estate, and I caution you to pay close attention to this story so you can protect your loved ones!)

This elderly woman’s home was filled with many valuable possessions.  Apparently several people came by to “purchase” all of her assets.  My colleague had tried to get the dealers out of the house, but no one took him seriously.  Knowing that I deal with this sort of thing daily, he asked me to intervene quickly, even though I had never met this woman. 

These neighbors and friends and dealers were literally stripping her home of her lifelong heirlooms, possessions that were supposed to be passed down to her children after her death.  Her children would never see those heirlooms again.  The neighbors and friends helped themselves, throwing a $1 or $5 bill at her for items worth thousands of dollars.  Sadly, they preyed upon her much like a vulture stripping a bone.  In her advanced diseased state, she simply didn’t know any better.  But they did!

How I wished the family would have known to expect exploitation in times of fragility!  This story is one I see frequently.  One day, I had had enough and decided to write a book to assist the boomer children, and the elderly parents navigate the final chapter of their lives.

www.TheBoomerBurden.com

© 2009 Julie Hall